Things change. People change. We morph to become what is better for ourselves, in this time, it doesn’t mean we are perfect; it doesn’t mean we are destroyed. It means we are reaching for the next step in the road even if there is gravel and glass shards ahead waiting to rip us apart, because we cant turn back, we cant turn our backs to this progress. This is true of me as well. Im not perfect, I probably will never be perfect, but Im finally coming to understand that its okay for me not to be. That its okay for me to be me, within limits. Sometimes my mask is a necessary thing, sometimes I give you a glimpse of myself deeper than I probably should, but here’s the thing everyone, who I am, who Im becoming? Your just going to have to deal with it. Because though I wish I could live up to your expectations and always say just the right thing at just the right time, always be happy, always have some new form of an exciting good humored joking, its not possible. I thought I could, I truly did, and its not that Im going to stop all of that, being there for you, making you smile, the occasional silliness, but I cant keep a lot of the darker things out of my poetry. Some topics I may be bringing up, you may hate me for, you may revile me to every end of this planet for what I say, but Im not sure if I care or not. Either accept all of me, or don’t bother. Its not that Im hateful, its not that Im cruel exactly, its that Im someone whose experienced things, been around events, held others hands and lifted them when nobody else was around to help shape those events to a better outcome. These words? Don’t let them frighten you away. Dig a little deeper. Im curious as to who can see me for who I am. But more importantly, can you accept me for who I am? I know Im finally managing to accept myself, for me.
Sitting on the couch one day thinking to myself of how it'll be like to not have a valentine this year, and all of a sudden I get a picture message to my phone with these photos with a message saying "Will you be my valentine?" I was quite shocked, but yet it did bring a big smile to my face. Why shocked? Because i wasn't expecting this from him at all one bit. I didn't even think he would be able to come up with something like this. But apparently, i thought wrong. Of course i didn't answer him right away cause i thought it was just a little joke he put on just to make me happy, but he was looking for a direct answer. My answer to him was "YES". The way i answered him was quite corny because at the time i was baking cupcakes, and had no idea of how i was gonna decorate them. Why yes? He's not a stranger of course. Let's just say he's someone i like. :) ALOT! And, im very glad that he's my valentine this year. The past two valentine was quite upsetting. Especially when you spent it with the person you loved and being abused on a day where your suppose to be showing your love to each other. I'm very excited to see what this year brings me.
